Jan 072019

grounded swallow

Want to fly?  Really soar?  First, you’ve gotta get unstuck.  Think about it, before you can fly you’ve gotta _______________.

How are we going to fill in that blank for you???? And what’s up with the ugly little bird?

I took this picture at my former home in New Hampshire.  I’d been watching a mother bird feed her little ones.  Suddenly, it was time for them to fly.  Only this little baby wasn’t convinced.  I’ll never know whether he didn’t WANT to fly or he wasn’t physically ready.  It probably doesn’t matter. What does matter is that somebody else set a goal for him and he didn’t achieve it.

Well… that’s not 100% accurate.  He and his siblings “flew” to the ground.  The others eventually made it to the top of the garden fences.  And then higher up in a tree.  And on to the roof of the barn.

Except for this one.  He was on the ground and going nowhere fast.  And not happy about it.  Can you relate? I know I can. I have (at least once in my life) managed to make myself miserable by ‘comparing my insides’ to what I saw others doing. Or, worse still, trying to reach goals I hadn’t chosen.  I can’t think of a better way to stay grounded.

I can't think of a better way to stay grounded than to go for a goal you didn't choose. Click To Tweet

I think “flight” combines both science and art.  

Some critters don’t do it because they lack the necessary equipment.  Others haven’t yet developed the required strength and coordination or mastered the timing. It’s not all that different from the way humans grow into the various roles we take on in our lives.

Whether writer, visual artist, salesperson or parent… living up to our potential requires a combination of science (skills and information) and art (choosing the right combination and making them part of what you do).  And as much as we’d sometimes like to pretend otherwise, there’s no magic bullet: when it comes to getting unstuck there’s no “one size fits all.”

Your particular version of “stuck” may be showing up in your monthly sales figures.  Or in that manuscript you can’t quite finish.  Or calls that don’t get made.  So you do what you’ve always done.  You read. Go to seminars.  Buy packages. Hire a coach. YOU FEEL GREAT!  You’re motivated like crazy… and then…

Nothing happens.

Can you relate?  It’s probably not your fault.  The tools you used were probably fine:  just not the right ones for this particular “job.”  It’s like trying to drive a nail with a bag of birdseed.

It's like trying to drive a nail with a bag of birdseed. Not quite the right tool, is it? Click To Tweet

Motivation is great… but not when it’s the only tool in the toolbox.  I’m sure you’ve had times you’ve been both stuck and motivated:  ready and willing to take action but unsure where to start. Remember, whether your learning to fly, to use social media, or to build your business there are predictable stages:

  • we don’t know that we don’t know
  • we know that we don’t know
  • we know…. but our skills are a bit shaky

And eventually, with support and practice, we get to “Woo-HOO!  I feel like I’ve ALWAYS known how to do this.”

Are you stuck? Or have you mastered something that used to have you that way? Tell us about it in the comments.





Apr 042018

Hello, wonderful readers. Do you like free stuff?  How about the opportunity to help an up and coming author take important steps forward? Or to be among the first to read a new release? And maybe even see your name in print? (Have you ever wondered who all those folks in the ‘acknowledgments’ and why the author appreciates them so?) If you answered ‘yes’ to any of these questions, you’ve come to the right place.

Do you like free stuff? Click To Tweet

I don’t think I’ve told you that, besides trying to get a firm grip on my next non-fiction topic, I’ve been working on what many would call a passion project. I have joined forces with two dear friends and accomplished authors to create an author services co-op called Amelia Indie Authors. In this brave new world (and constantly shifting landscape) of independent publishing, it seems unusual for several reasons.

  • Authors can’t just wave a credit card and join. There’s an application process to make sure it’s a “fit.” If we can’t help, we don’t take their money.
  • It’s affordable. One of the things that drove us to create this is frustration at seeing authors over-charged for services they could easily learn to do for themselves.
  • It’s safe. Once again, we all get a little angry when we see authors getting ripped off. We don’t recommend services we haven’t used ourselves and believe to be of excellent value.
  • It’s a work in progress. Our wonderful early-adopters are providing us with feedback about what’s working for them and what else they need.

So what’s all that got to do with you?  Well, if you’re a writer and tired of paying too much for less than stellar results, check out the site.  But if you’re a reader? We’re looking for you. We’re in the process of creating a list of beta readers — the people who will give writers the type of feedback we need to improve. (Hint: We need more than, “It’s good.”)

Are you a writer, tired of paying too much for less than stellar results? Click To Tweet

What’s involved? Well, as I said, we’re a work in progress. (Our new and improved website will go live next week.) What I think it will look like? From time-to-time, we’ll message you to see whether you have time to read part of a work in progress. We’ll also give you an idea of the genre/subject matter to make sure it’s something of interest to you. If both of those are a “yes,” we’ll send you a portion of our author’s work and let you know the type of feedback requested. That’s it. You read and send us an email.

And chances are an extremely appreciative author will thank you. In writing. In the book!

If this is of interest to you, please respond in the comments or e-mail me at Amelia.Indie.Authors@gmail.com

Thanks. And happy reading!



Jun 282017

America’s opioid crisis has become a common topic in the media and in conversations with friends. Surprisingly, much of the coverage has started to focus on families: stories about individual addicts are now being given a context and that context includes the family members who suffer right along with them. Debates about criminality versus medical condition continues to take up too much space but, just like individuals and families struggling with addiction, we can’t fix what we don’t acknowledge.

We can't fix what we don't acknowledge. #addiction #families Click To Tweet

I’m glad we’re finally talking about it. I worked in the addictions field and was part of one of the first residential treatment programs for families of people with chemical dependency issues. Addiction — in all of its forms — can be devastating to families.

And, according to a number of experts in the field, it can also come from many forms devastation in families: abuse, neglect, addiction, divorce, abandonment, and violence. Such circumstances are now being termed ACE: Adverse Childhood Experiences. And, while most people have at least one such adverse experience, those with multiples are deemed high risk for a variety of health crises ranging from addiction to heart disease. (You can get your ACE score here.)


Back when I was developing addiction awareness programs for parents, we used to ask, “Why do teens use drugs?” The answer? “Because they work.” What that answer assumed was common sense that is now becoming part of the mainstream awareness: people use drugs to feel better. (I know, “duh.” Right?)

Why do people need to feel better? #addiction #ACEs #opioids Click To Tweet

So why do people need to feel better? We could all fill volumes on the overwhelming pain and difficulties so many people face on a daily basis. And if we work at it together, we could probably fill an equal number of volumes about compassion, resilience, and prevention.

And, while opiate abuse has reached epidemic status, there are still simple things parents and grandparents, friends and neighbors can do for those who are closest to them.

  • Set a good example
  • Maintain rituals and
  • Incorporate spiritual practice into your family life.

As much as most of us would like to guarantee good health and success for the young people we care about, the best we can do is try to stack the odds in their favor.  Safety, security, and skills are a great place to start. Any work to decrease risk factors improves their odds.

The best we can do is try to stack the odds in their favor. #parents #prevention #opioids #addiction Click To Tweet

In addition to creating a list of resources for families, I’ve put together this small list of resources to help families facing addiction. Please download and invite your friends to do so as well. In the meantime, please share stories about individual and community efforts that area working to enhance resilience and decrease risk. Thanks.









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