Insult probably doesn’t begin to convey the feeling that came over me as I finished my enrollment. It’s an understatement. I’m pissed off. Again. Still.
It seems to be the natural (and unwanted) side effect of starting to have feelings again. I’ve been numb for a long time and, as all of the nerve endings start to wake up, I find them overly-sensitive, easily over-stimulated, and often extremely crabby.
As much as I don’t like to add to the negativity in the world, I’m having a hard time managing some big feelings. In fact, they’re probably a lot bigger than they should be. I hope that blowing off a little steam will help me put minor irritations back in perspective. I’d be really pleased if I could re-learn how to laugh at the absurdity of it all.
A recent interaction with a service provider left me wondering just how many ways the people with whom we do business can find to insult their consumers? (Let me count the ways.) It feels like far more than taking us (customers) for granted. Is it simple negligence or dereliction of duty? Could it be ignorance regarding the consequences of their inaction or weaponized incompetence?
Let’s do this
And enrollment? I’ll bet you think it was something fun and exciting like enrollment in a course or degree program. No such luck. I was treated to the delightful and demeaning experience of enrolling in yet another “free” credit monitoring program. You know, the ones you get when some company or medical practice you were dumb enough to trust managed to leak your personal information all over the web? Yeah. That enrollment. (Not the fun kind.)
Insult #1: Make me prove that I’m me.
Today, as a result of the latest data breach notification that turned up in my mailbox, I got to spend my time enrolling in a free credit monitoring site. I used their special code, created an account, and then spent time answering questions to verify my identity for them. When I had finished jumping through all of their hoops, I came to rest on a page loaded with helpful hints to avoid identity theft.
Insult #2: Fixing the wrong problem.
It was offensive when they told me I should cross-cut shred my important papers before tossing them into the recycling bin. I admit to logging off before taking time to read and remember any other “useful” tips. There’s a reason for that: I’m not the one who left my identity unprotected and subject to theft. They did — and it had absolutely nothing to do with my paper disposal methods or recycling habits.
Insult #3: Behavior doesn’t lie.
Maybe it was the smarmy letter about how much they care about the security of my personal information and how much they want to help me. I can’t help thinking that, if they care as much as they say they do, they would have secured my information before they set it free. They wouldn’t need to help me. I want to yell at them. “Stop caring and just do your effing job.”
Insult #4: Where do I punch in?
They treat us like employees. “Here’s a mess for you to fix — on your own time.” I’ve started thinking of the lab (or the hospital or my doctor’s office or whatever incompetent, anonymous provider unwittingly shared my information) as just another bad boss. We’ve all had them — they create chaos and expect us to fix their messes, usually for free. I don’t know about you but I am long past non-consensual “volunteerism.” It’s like what most of us want to say when faced with self-checkout at the market: I don’t work for you.
A few good insults?
I feel like businesses are in my face screaming “You can’t handle the truth.” For example, once upon a time Zappos was my favorite online retailer. I geeked out over their culture. Marveled at their 365-day return policy. On a trip to Las Vegas even dragged famioy members on a headquarters tour. Long story short… if there’s a problem and you used the ‘zon to pay, you’re out of luck. And, even if you order and pay directly on their site? 60 days. Even for poor quality, not-as-advertised, major brand name, turned-to-crap-the-first-time-they-got-wet worthless shoes.
- And speaking of Amazon, how often do your Prime orders show up when the ‘before it goes in the cart date’ says it will?
- Netflix… actually all the streaming services and their endless commercials. Is it really time to go back to cable?
- NFL Sunday Ticket offers a family plan… until we got deeper into the fine print and discovered that they were using “family” and “household” interchangeably.
I’d better stop. The mail will be here soon. I can’t wait to see which purrveyor of goods or services has a new “to do” list for me.
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