When We Don’t Get What We Want

[Tweet “It’s called “the present” because it’s a gift?”]

Years of working in the addiction recovery community taught me a lot. And there was one particular Christmas that reminded me of the three billion and four times I’ve said (and heard) this: “Plan plans, not results.” It’s a wonderful reminder about staying in the day… and not freaking out when we don’t get what we want.

[Tweet “Stay in the day and don’t freak out…”]

A few years ago, my husband and I had set up a pretty elaborate holiday schedule: a few short hops together to get to part of our large, “blended and extended” family… a “divide and conquer” approach with the rest. It was the perfect plan for an “elongated” Christmas celebration that would allow us to be face-to-face with parents, sibs, adult kids, grandbabies…. just about everyone. We were pretty excited.

But when we woke up on the day I was supposed to drive him to the airport for the first leg, we encountered an unexpected plot twist: hacking coughs and high fevers for two. So instead of “Departing Flights” it was off to Express Care… and to the druggist instead of dinner. Our TSA-friendly packages were stuffed into a very expensive overnight shipping box and dragged to the post office with almost an hour to spare. And with that, our Christmas was officially canceled.

[Tweet “Our TSA-friendly packages were stuffed into an expensive overnight box…”]

Because we had made plans to travel, there were no ingredients for a festive dinner. The “designated road warriors” had not put up a Christmas tree. And, apparently my husband and I had each planned to finish up our gifts to the other on the two days we were scheduled to be apart.

We pronounced it officially the weirdest Christmas ever.

Pajamas, pillows, blankets and dogs. Soup from the freezer with toast for dessert. Sweet “I love you’s” by text, a few by phone and a long distance Yankee Swap courtesy of FaceTime. Lots of liquids and plenty of sleep. Some laughter and too many movies. Finding the line between “disappointed about plans” and “making the best of the moment.”

[Tweet “Do we get what we need? Or get what we get?”]

When we don’t get what we want, there are those who say we “get what we need.” Others say “we get what we get.” Either one can be a wonderful thing.

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