People get stuck. It happens to everyone. We don’t all have the same skills and talents nor do we have access to the same resources. What’s challenging to me might be a breeze for you… and vice versa.
Having visited “The Land of Stuck” once (or a couple of hundred times) in the course of being on the planet, I’ve had an opportunity to think about stuckness. A variety of things can lead me to that stuck place: a need to learn certain skills, not knowing where to start or thinking I should be able to conquer the obstacle (whatever it may be) on my own. It’s not all that difficult for most people to easily point to one or more legitimate causes for ending up back there.
And, when we’ve had enough, we eventually reach out for help. The internet. Books, blogs and experts. Maybe an ‘ear’ from a friend… or a series of sessions with a life coach. In our role as parents we turn to teachers and tutors and troop leaders and the coaches who lead our kids’ activities.
But like so many things, I’ve started to wonder if we’re solving the right problem. What if the real problem is our resistance? What if we stay stuck longer than necessary simply because we don’t think “it” should be happening to us or to our kids?
All parents want to protect their children. And, in our quest to be the best, we can get carried away. I wonder if this “it shouldn’t happen to _______________” (me or my family or my child ) attitude fosters a sense of entitlement that contributes to people being being unable to bounce back from adversity. Sometimes life’s greatest challenges reveal talents and strengths we didn’t know were there. I really enjoyed the way that Simon Sinek wrote about that here: Our Survival Skills Become Our Talents .
It’s easy to be grateful and celebrate when things are going our way… but it’s quite a bonus to learn that some of the “tough stuff” is simply ugly wrapping paper on our greatest gifts.