Dec 082015

Is there an Inner Critic in your brain?


A funny thing happened to me when I was traveling to meet and train with lots of women in direct sales….  I started hearing a term that I hadn’t heard in very a long time. I kept running into people who wanted help to manage their “Inner Critic.”

I’ve heard it (the Inner Critic) called a lot of things:

  • When I connect with online writing communities like NaNoWriMo, there’s a lot of talk about “The Inner Editor….”
  • When I worked in the addictions field, lots of people called it “The Addict in the Attic,” or “My Disease.”
  • “The Committee,” or “The Jury” comes up in more general conversation

The point is, it seems to be something most of us struggle with from time-to-time.  My friend Annie says, “Most people are one thought away from being happier, healthier and more successful.” I agree with her.

Here it is: efforts to silence that inner critic only make it stronger. It’s on your side and learning about it will serve you a lot better than trying to shut it up.

[Tweet “Efforts to silence your #InnerCritic only make it stronger.”]

Regardless of the ‘title’ I have held at any given time, my work has been about offering people the opportunity to connect with a new thought. I like that. Mastering that ‘voice in the head’ that says ‘you are not good enough’ is important work.

This came in my e-mail a while back, and I saved it.  It seems to fit these conversations about lovin’ on our inner critics.

[Tweet “What old beliefs stand in the way of loving #InnerCritic?”]

“It is hard to let old beliefs go. They are familiar. We are comfortable with them and have spent years building systems and developing habits that depend on them. Like a man who has worn eyeglasses so long that he forgets he has them on, we forget that the world looks to us the way it does because we have become used to seeing it that way through a particular set of lenses. Today, however, we need new lenses. And we need to throw the old ones away.” – Kenichi Ohmae

What old beliefs stand in the way of learning to love your Inner Critic?


Ready to challenge those beliefs and harness the power of your Inner Critic? Grab your copy of The Inner Critic Advantage: Making Peace With the Noise in Your Head on Amazon.



  12 Responses to “A Beginner’s Guide to Loving Your Inner Critic”

  1. I LOVE the work you do. YES! So important to integrate and heal. I now lovingly call my inner critic the bully….and continuously show up with my strong, nurturing, kind, inner voice when he shows up. When I practice listening to my strong, kind, nurturing , inner voice….the bully merely resembles a little rascal.

    But you are right! It all started with new thought. Absolutely!!

  2. When some tenderness arose for me yesterday during a session with a healer — tenderness about the stuck places in my life — she very kindly and lovingly reminded me that those thoughts are old habits and that I don’t need to keep thinking them. Those words certainly helped soften my inner critic. So glad we don’t have to do life alone!

  3. Ahhh, the inner critic…we all love to hate on it…I love that you remind us to make friends with it and not resist it!

  4. Thanks for this thoughtful and thought-provoking post, Andrea! My Inner Critic loves to tell me that I can’t have what I really want unless there’s a considerable amount of hard work (and even suffering) involved. I’ve learned to lovingly respond, “What was once hard is now easy.” 🙂

  5. Rejection! It is the root of all of my demons! However, I have learned to stop and listen to the critic. What can I learn? It definitely takes some training but makes a huge difference in how we approach things.

  6. My inner critic can be quite nasty, defeatist & a worry-wart. I am learning to listen to what she throws out & then make it a challenge to see how I can do whatever she made me feel I couldn’t. It’s a constant battle, but at least I know now not to let her get me down! xo

  7. I know we’ve chatted about this before – but I made peace with my Inner Critic. Often she appears as a very bratty 6 year old, scared of her own shadow. I told her that I appreciate that she doesn’t want me to feel hurt or betrayed or disapproved of. She’s scared of being rejected and left to rot in a corner somewhere. I let her know that it’s okay. It’s just a $hitty first draft. Or I’m practicing. Or I’m playing. She’s seems good with that. <3

    • Peggy, I so appreciate you sharing your approach with me and with others… you’re a shining example of turning an Inner Critic to an Inner Ally!

  8. Love is the only way through. Thanks for a thought-provoking post, Andrea! xox, Reba

  9. Pride stands in my way. Even when my pride is most often working against me!
    I just fluffed and vacuumed the sofa, no one will see it but me, yet I still can’t sit on it because if I do it won’t look perfect! LAW

Care to share? Hearing from you makes my day!

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