Jun 062017
 

While employed by others, I spent a lot of years maintaining strict boundaries and everyone’s privacy. In many of my work environs, it was not a good idea to become part of the story, and any information shared outside of the office qualified as TMI. So, as a highly introverted advocate-turned-author, one of the things I struggle with is how to connect online without sharing too much about myself. The idea of “TMI Tuesday” felt right, so, here’s my first attempt. (I hope the questions don’t get more difficult later on!)

As an introverted advocate-turned-author, I struggle with how to connect online without sharing… Click To Tweet

1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?

I have been lucky enough to have dinner with some pretty extraordinary people over the years — some famous and some just plain fascinating. Right now, my dinner guest of choice would be my youngest stepson. Having him here would mean his passport woes are behind him and he’s getting to spend time with the American half of his family. (And, yes, we’d appreciate all the good vibes you can send in our direction, please.)

2. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?

You mean aside from waking up on the right side of the dirt???

So far today is pretty close to perfect. I got up early, caught up with some friends on social media, and found this blog idea, all while drinking slurping not spilling savoring my first cup of coffee. There’s a gentle rain outside. I’ve got the windows open, the birds are singing their heads off, and the garden is full of fresh new growth. There are no outside commitments on my calendar and no critical end-of-the-day deadlines. I have two exciting, active projects in the works and lots of ideas about what I’ll be able to get to add to them today. And I’m only minutes away from My Favorite Husband returning from the gym. He almost always brings me a latte. (It’s the best of both worlds — like getting room service without having to leave home.)

It's the best of both worlds -- like getting room service without having to leave home. Click To Tweet

I also enjoy perfect days exploring new places… or new looks at old, familiar places. I’ve got a few of those on the calendar.

3. How much do you like your personality?
(pick just one)

a. A lot.
b. A little.
c. It needs work.
d. I am annoying sometimes.
e. I am difficult, and people have told me so.

I’m going to have to go with “c” — my personality needs work. While there are parts of me that are pretty OK, there are some parts that could be best described as “a hot mess.” I try not to injure others with those parts, to be at least a little bit better every day, and not beat myself too mercilessly when I screw up. I’m consoled by the fact that my dogs love me — or at least pretend until they get fed. Progress, not perfection, right?

quote on fiery background "If I'm not the problem, there is no solution."

4. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?

Neither. My mind is a whole lot better than it was at 30. My body? Eh… I’d look even more ridiculous. Seriously? Everybody’s got challenges. Whether physical or mental, I hope to keep learning from mine.

If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any ability, what would it be? Click To Tweet

5. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any ability, what would it be?

Wow ~ so many things. To be kinder. To lose fat and build muscle. To run long distances or return to downhill skiing without requiring another knee surgery. To write something that sells millions of copies….

Maybe the best new ability I could hope for is to keep up with the ideas I have about trying things!

picture of Mary Oliver quote "instruction for living a life:
How about helping me out and making this more of a two-way street by answering one of these questions in a “comment”? (I really DO want to know.)

Apr 142017
 

Once upon a time, I got frustrated with waiting too long and paying too much… so I figured out how to build my own website. And, while I can’t always make it do exactly what I want it to? Most days I come pretty close.

Once upon a time, I got frustrated with waiting too long and paying too much... Click To Tweet

The other day I got to help a fellow author launch his blog and, through more trial and error than I had hoped for, we got it up and running. Apparently, if I’m going to remember how to do these things, I’m going to have to use some of the skills more often.

The other thing that complicates this particular learning curve? App developers keep making things better and, generally speaking, this is a good thing… except when I only know one way to do something and the ability to update it has expired. Pfft.

This point was driven home earlier this week when I realized that only my old parenting posts were working their way over to my Facebook page. I guess that’s OK… but I’ve been writing about other topics and wanted to share those posts, too.

Long story short? Evidently, it worked. So, instead of the usual “test post” I decided to celebrate with a picture taken at our former home in New Hampshire. I’m not sure my friend Nancy believed me when I told her we used to live “smack in the middle of nowhere.”

I decided to celebrate with a photo taken from our former home... smack in the middle of nowhere! Click To Tweet

Please enjoy a post celebrating the serenity I feel every time something technical goes well. And providing photographic evidence for my friend the meticulous researcher and award-winning author? That’s just a bonus.

 April 14, 2017  Posted by  Fun & Inspiration, Social Media No Responses »
Mar 012017
 
Picture of Oprah in red dress and yelling "you get The Inner Critic Advantage." Everybody can go home with The Inner Critic Advantage.

I created a meme of my Oprah Show fantasy…

She laughed at me

Several years back, at a publishing conference, I had an opportunity to speak with some industry veterans.  One was gracious enough to take a quick look at the marketing plan I was working on. I was encouraged… until she laughed. My inner critic went a little bit nuts. I wanted to crawl under some furniture or run from the room.

Fortunately, she noticed and said, “I like you. You may be the only author in America whose plan does not include the words ‘Get on Oprah’s show.'”

I know why so many people wanted to do that: marketing an indie book can be h*ll on wheels. Granted, some of this is as a result of self-inflicted wounds caused by lack of feedback from beta readers, editing, and proofreading. But even excellent work has a hard time getting through the avalanche of media and advertising readers see every single day.

My Inner Critic is up to no good

Personally? I need to take a closer look at the role of my inner critic in all of this. While I’m able to harness her powerful warnings to complete writing projects, she’s still pretty shrieky when it comes to self-promotion. (“Get your ego in check!” “It’s not polite to talk about yourself.”) She has gotten a little sneakier and has a New Age-y approach as well: “Stop bothering people. If they’re meant to find you, they will.”

Thank goodness for readers and other writers who help share about our books, our blogs, our events and our news. You are truly a gift.

And, if you’d like to be part of that giant online support group but don’t know where to start? Here are three small actions that are a huge help.

Reviews. Especially on Amazon and GoodReads. They don’t have to be long to be meaningful. “The author presents helpful information with a light touch.” Or, “I found the story captivating.” Expert tip: If you are personally acquainted with the author please don’t mention that in your review. It’s a red flag for “fake review” and could cause problems for the author. Also, if you’re a relative… especially one with the same name? DON’T POST A REVIEW. (See previous example.)

Facebook page likes and engagement. Have you ever seen the “invite friends to like page” feature on the right-hand side of your computer screen? If you “like” an author (or any page) your friends are more likely to follow suit — if you ask them to. And once on a page? Participate. Comment on and share posts.

You rock. We love you

Genuine interaction helps get attention for our work, keeps authors motivated, and lets the inner critic of self-promotion know it’s OK to go somewhere and take a nap!

What’s your favorite way to help amplify an author’s message? (Please share in the comments section. Every little bit helps!)

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Is your brain still kicking your butt? You may not be at fault…. What if you’ve been following the wrong advice? Click to download 3 Reasons to Stop Fighting Inner Critic and find out about something you can do instead.

3 Reasons to Stop Fighting Your Inner Critic

By the way, this really is a free gift and not some gambit to capture your email address for marketing purposes.

If you like what you see here? Please connect in a manner that suits you: e-mail (slowest), FacebookTwitterPinterestInstagramAmazon….  And, if not? Please enjoy your gift with my best wishes.

Apr 252016
 

golf club egg

What if you had a beautiful gift to give away? Let’s pretend it’s a brand new set of golf clubs. Instead of “going viral,” you have the feeling people are avoiding you like a contagious illness. It’s  around us, every day, in e-mail blasts, Facebook posts, and tweets; since I follow a bunch of authors, I call it the “buy my book bug.”

Some authors post about their topics, their writing process, their pets, their partners, their projects and their progress. I love reading their stuff. I feel connected to them, and, because of that, I enjoy their success. When they post about a new release, event, or sale? I gladly retweet it or share it on my page. There’s a relationship.

Then there are the others. I “like” or “follow” someone new, hoping to find some good, fresh content. But sometimes get the automatic, one-size-fits-all private message “inviting” me to connect with them somewhere else. Ugh.

The second group doesn’t get it: social media is not for selling. It’s for creating and developing relationships. And, as Bob Burg says, “All things being equal, people will do business with, and refer business to, those people they know, like and trust.”

I’ve taught social media basics to authors and other small business owners for a while. It breaks my heart to tell them, “Nobody cares about your _______ (book or product).” I feel like I kicked a puppy. It’s not personal: most people don’t care about mine, either.

What do people care about online? The same things they care about in real life: themselves, their families and their own lives.

So why should authors and small business owners have an online presence? That’s where our readers are. Part of our job is to make it easy for them to find us. Another part is to let them know we care about their lives, too. Writing, tweeting or posting on Facebook… it can’t “be about” you.

What about the golf clubs?

golf clubs

A lot of people would be thrilled to get a brand new set of golf clubs for their next big occasion. I’m not one of them. I don’t play golf and have torn both rotator cuffs; my chances of becoming a regular, happy golfer are pretty slim. If you offered me golf clubs I’d know you don’t know me well…  But, if you kept trying to give me  golf clubs? I’d start to wonder what was wrong with you.

There’s nothing wrong with you; in fact, I appreciate your generosity. There’s nothing wrong with  golf clubs, either. They’re just not something I want or need right now.

And, if you stop trying to give me golf clubs and, instead, try to find out what I DO want? I’m a lot more likely to stick around… and share your message with the golfers in my life.

Do you have a social media pet peeve? Or, better still, a tip? Please share in the comments.

 April 25, 2016  Posted by  Social Media 14 Responses »
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